Dear Lynda,
Could someone out there who has been through an internet relationship and has or is enduring the waiting game, please tell me how I can survive. I just feel like giving up sometimes as it gets to much for me. My love for this man is unquestionable and he has never given up, and is suffering as much as me, but I don’t seem to be strong. I breakdown and just want him so much. The cost of phone calls is financial troubling so we have had to reduce, but time constraints make it difficult as well. It will be another 6months to a year before we can be together. You advice is received with thanks.
Leesa
Dear Leesa,
Your request seems to be a common one. I have now devoted a web page to assist yourself and other couples in surviving the wait. It should give you a few great tips in getting through the tough times on the internet and turning them back into something exciting.
As I say, don’t just ‘survive’ the wait, ‘thrive’ the wait. Enjoy the new web-page titled ‘Surviving the wait‘.
Lynda
Disclaimer:
The advice column on this site is NOT meant to replace seeking professional therapeutic assistance. It is hoped that the responses given will be helpful, but this site exists to entertain our visitors and this advice column is NOT professional counselling. In all instances, seek the advice of a professional who you trust and do not rely on the suggestions of this site in your life decision-making.
Hi Leesa
I completely understand where you are coming from, I have been in the same position for the past 18 months. Thankfully, I can now see light at the end of the tunnel. My love will be here in exactly 2 weeks for our first meeting!
It hasn’t been an easy path to travel by any means. There were times when I thought things would never get moving and I would be sitting at the computer for the rest of my life. I would often wonder if it was all worth it and would I have the patience the relationship required. Patience and strength and communication are the keys to keeping long distance relationships alive. Whenever I felt weak or at a loss about the situation, my love and I would discuss it immediately and get our feelings out. Most often, he was feeling the same as I did and after talking about it, things fell into place and we were back on track.
I know I am not on the home straight yet, after this first meeting, there will be alot more waiting to come. He is in U.S. and I am in Australia, so it’s not like we will be seeing each other every other weekend or so. There will be more visa applications to be made and alot more hard work to build up finances so that we may have a life together.
So my advice to you would be to just have patience and try to be strong wherever possible. If you do feel weak, don’t dwell on it, you are human afterall. Think positive thoughts at all times and I am sure the happiness you seek will come to you. I wish you luck and best wishes.
Anne Maree
Dear Leesa,
If you really love this man, DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!! I can tell you from experience the wait is worth it. Yes, it is hard to be away from the one you love, but it makes the time you do have together that much more special. So when you do meet, you will appreciate the time you have together. Also, I don’t know if this will help you any or not, but as for the phone bill, try this site for reduced long distance. It is http://www.onesuite.com. My significant other is in England and I am in the US and this site has been a lifesaver for me. We met online in August of 2000 and met in person for the first time in June of 2001. We will not see each other again until December of this year. The wait is painful, but I know it will be worth it. I don’t know if this has helped any at all, but I hope it has!!
Lynn
Dear Leesa,
Yes, it is very difficult and sometimes heartbreaking to be so far away from the man you love. My man lives in England, and we see each other every three to four months. We still have a ways to wait until we are finally together, perhaps three years or more. What keeps us going is knowing those years will disappear soon and we will have the rest of our lives to share together. Every visit, every phone call is cherished and not a moment is taken for granted. In the long run, it makes the relationship stronger. I guess being apart teaches us this strength and courage and appreciation for one another; a good thing that a lot of relationships lack (with people who live close). Keep those thoughts in mind, and know you are indeed not alone. Best wishes….Brooke
Brooke
Did someone just mentioned Onesuite.com? Well what a coincidence as I also use Onesuite for communicating with my former girlfriend for 3 long years. This saved us money but in the end, prolonged long distance relationships is really prone to break ups.