Dear Lynda,
Hi!! My boyfriend and I met off the internet. The only problem is the distance. He is in the Army and I am a full time mother to a 5 month old and we are both in debt. We want so badly to be together, we say it was “love at first type” There was something there between us that hasn’t been there before… How do we make this last to where we can be together in person someday……..
Confused with LD relationship
Dear Confused with LD relationship,
Internet Romances are not TOO different to ‘real-life’ relationships. They both require you to spend time with each other, communicate, play, laugh, cry and even fight.
However, it is the way that you go about doing these things that is different. For example, instead of waking up with your partner beside you, you may be woken by the sound of his voice on the phone wishing you a good morning (even though it might be evening for him), or there might be an ecard from him telling you just how special you are. Another day it might be a recorded voice message, or a flower delivery or a lovely long email.
As you are probably aware by now, an Internet Romance definitely takes a lot more work, but it is certainly much more rewarding and you can feel love and communication that you never thought possible.
Lynda
Disclaimer:
The advice column on this site is NOT meant to replace seeking professional therapeutic assistance. It is hoped that the responses given will be helpful, but this site exists to entertain our visitors and this advice column is NOT professional counselling. In all instances, seek the advice of a professional who you trust and do not rely on the suggestions of this site in your life decision-making.
I stumbled upon your web site when looking for help on Long distance relationships. You’re story really inspired me but I do have a problem. First off I’m only 18. I met my online love in July of 1999. It was love at first /msg
. We met in May of 2000 and it was nothing but fireworks. She stayed a week with me in July and again in October. Now its the start of December and she’s supposed to come stay another week starting December 26th. Here’s my problem. I think she is falling out of love with me because its so hard to go back to IRC after we’ve been together in real life. She needs me there and I can’t be there because of my age and situation. I really don’t want to lose her. I’m afraid I’d spend the rest of my life wondering what might have been. Please give me any advice to help sooth the wait for her. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Needs Help
Dear Needs Help,
Internet Romances can flourish for years given enough encouragement. There are many more ways than IRC to keep a romance alive.
You may like to try different forms of communication. Keep changing our form of communication to keep the romance going. Forms such as telephone, internet telephony, snail-mail letters, cards and brochures will all help to add some excitement into the relationship. It will take a bit of effort on your behalf, but a bit of variety, intrigue and surprise should help put the sparkle back into her eyes.
Lynda
Disclaimer:
The advice column on this site is NOT meant to replace seeking professional therapeutic assistance. It is hoped that the responses given will be helpful, but this site exists to entertain our visitors and this advice column is NOT professional counselling. In all instances, seek the advice of a professional who you trust and do not rely on the suggestions of this site in your life decision-making.
I have been dating a boy I met off the internet for about 5 weeks now. He is one of the sweetest guys in the world and things were going wonderful until about 2 weeks ago. At first it was like a dream. I spent the weekends with him. Having fun, going out, and just being glad to be with him. He lives 2 hours away so the weekends are the only time I get to be with him
During the week when we are apart we would keep in contact through emails, AOL, and phone calls. We used to talk in someway or another once a day just to let each other know how our days were and how things were going.
Well… things started to change a little bit a few weeks back when he said he liked spending time with me.. but he was afraid we were spending to much time because he was getting emotionally attached to me. We have both been hurt in our previous relationships and I think we both feared attachment.
Well after that we seemed to get closer in a way although our fears of getting hurt. We have a lot in common and we never get sick of each other or fight. These past two weeks after I leave we don’t talk as much during the week. True enough he does send me and email or talk.. but not as often as he used to.
Well this week was the icing on the cake. I hadn’t talked to him for 4 days and finally get an email saying he has been real busy working (he is a web designer) and that he got real caught up in the project.. he wasn’t mad.. etc.. and went on to ask how things were with me. He mentioned meeting him at a club tonight cause he wasn’t sure it would be okay for me to come stay the weekend. He still lives with family and they haven’t been getting along.
Today.. I call him twice to see what the plans are.. no return phone call.. no emails.. nothing. At first when I hadn’t talked to him.. I was upset, worried he didn’t like me anymore, just running everything through my head.. did he get hurt, etc. Now I’m just angry and hurt. I know he still cares about me, I trust that much. Otherwise.. he wouldn’t have sent me an email at all apologizing or asking how things were with me. He would have just forgotten about me and left me hanging.
So my question is.. why would he act so distant even after I just saw him 5 days ago and things were great. No fights, being affectionate, etc. Could he be afraid he is getting in to deep? Playing hard to get? Needing space??? I don’t want to lose this guy, because we click really well. I am just really confused. PLEASE HELP Lynda!!!!
REALLY confused
Dear REALLY confused,
My gut feeling from what you have written is that there is possibly nothing wrong. He is just slipping into a zone of comfort with you. This is something experienced in many relationships and occurs when the relationship is travelling along just fine and he is now finding himself able to focus his attention on other issues in his life. Something might be taking all his attention at the present moment.
Unless you genuinely feel that there is something wrong, I suggest that you relax and get accustomed to the unreliable nature of boyfriends. Give him a kick up the rear and tell him that you are feeling left out and he’ll either explain how busy he’s been or come out with his problem.
Lynda
Disclaimer:
The advice column on this site is NOT meant to replace seeking professional therapeutic assistance. It is hoped that the responses given will be helpful, but this site exists to entertain our visitors and this advice column is NOT professional counselling. In all instances, seek the advice of a professional who you trust and do not rely on the suggestions of this site in your life decision-making.
I have been talking to this girl on the internet for quite a while. She is such a special person and I would like to meet her and spend more time with her. We spend a lot of time on the internet talking to one another and I feel like it is time for us to meet. She is so wonderful and I find her to be a soul mate. I want to spice up the relationship a little bit more. How would I do that and is it a possibility that we will stay together forever?
In Love
Dear In Love,
I am glad that you are wanting to keep the relationship exciting and stimulating for both of you. Here are some tips to spice things up a bit…
I hope these few hints will help you obtain that certain spice you are looking for. I also hope that your meeting together goes well. Be sure to let us know how it went.
As to your second question, yes, I do believe that romances started on the internet can readily develop into long-lasting, satisfying marriages. She could be the one.
Lynda
Disclaimer:
The advice column on this site is NOT meant to replace seeking professional therapeutic assistance. It is hoped that the responses given will be helpful, but this site exists to entertain our visitors and this advice column is NOT professional counselling. In all instances, seek the advice of a professional who you trust and do not rely on the suggestions of this site in your life decision-making.
