Dear Lynda,
I’ve been chatting with this guy for over 7 months. I’ve sent him over three photo’s of me and he wont send me one. I love him deeply but I think he might be hiding something from me. He wants to meet me soon and I’m not sure about going. Help me find out why he want send me a picture.
In too deep
Dear In Too Deep,
I think you are doing well to we wary of this guy. He may just be a bit lazy and hasn’t got around to it, but I recommend that you definitely do not meet him until you have seen some photos of him and probably find out a bit more about him to back his story up.
Do you have his home phone number? Are you allowed to ring it? Have you rung him at work? Is his name and number in the phone book? Do you even know his full name? Are you sure he isn’t married? You need to find out all these things and more…
I think you need to start expecting a bit from this man before you even think about meeting him in person. If he is genuine, then he will understand your need to protect yourself and will be only too pleased to supply you with all the comforting information you need.
I personally feel that if a woman ever feels that her man is hiding something from her, then she needs to take this seriously. Women have an intuitive nature which is there to help protect them from possible harm, so you would do well to listen to it.
Also, consider the possibility that he is a genuine guy who is embarrassed to reveal a weight problem or feels inadequate about his looks. You need to approach this situation both intelligently and sensitively.
Lynda
Disclaimer:
The advice column on this site is NOT meant to replace seeking professional therapeutic assistance. It is hoped that the responses given will be helpful, but this site exists to entertain our visitors and this advice column is NOT professional counselling. In all instances, seek the advice of a professional who you trust and do not rely on the suggestions of this site in your life decision-making.
I stumbled upon your web site when looking for help on Long distance relationships. You’re story really inspired me but I do have a problem. First off I’m only 18. I met my online love in July of 1999. It was love at first /msg
. We met in May of 2000 and it was nothing but fireworks. She stayed a week with me in July and again in October. Now its the start of December and she’s supposed to come stay another week starting December 26th. Here’s my problem. I think she is falling out of love with me because its so hard to go back to IRC after we’ve been together in real life. She needs me there and I can’t be there because of my age and situation. I really don’t want to lose her. I’m afraid I’d spend the rest of my life wondering what might have been. Please give me any advice to help sooth the wait for her. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Needs Help
Dear Needs Help,
Internet Romances can flourish for years given enough encouragement. There are many more ways than IRC to keep a romance alive.
You may like to try different forms of communication. Keep changing our form of communication to keep the romance going. Forms such as telephone, internet telephony, snail-mail letters, cards and brochures will all help to add some excitement into the relationship. It will take a bit of effort on your behalf, but a bit of variety, intrigue and surprise should help put the sparkle back into her eyes.
Lynda
Disclaimer:
The advice column on this site is NOT meant to replace seeking professional therapeutic assistance. It is hoped that the responses given will be helpful, but this site exists to entertain our visitors and this advice column is NOT professional counselling. In all instances, seek the advice of a professional who you trust and do not rely on the suggestions of this site in your life decision-making.
I have had an online relationship for almost a year. We have talked almost everyday online and I have grown to love her. I have called her and we have sent each other mail and I feel like I know her very well. In fact I am so in love with her I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
It has been a difficult relationship at times. She seems to always pull away from me. It is hard to get her to trust me and I know she is afraid of loving me for fear that I will hurt her. I don’t know how to get her to have as much faith in our relationship and our love as I do. I don’t know how to let her understand that I love her and will never hurt her because I would hurt just as much. I don’t know what to do, How can I be so sure of this and she be so doubtful? I need advice…
In Love
Dear In Love,
Trust is something that needs to be earned. The way to develop trust is to be trustworthy. In other words, be worthy of her trust. Be there when she is down, be strong when she is weak, and never say things like ‘Is it over with us?’ You need to show her time and time again that you can be her ‘rock’, and you won’t be moved by the first windstorm that comes your way.
In time, you will have earned genuine trust which is worth more than gold. Once you have the trust of a woman like this you will have quite a treasure indeed.
Lynda
Disclaimer:
The advice column on this site is NOT meant to replace seeking professional therapeutic assistance. It is hoped that the responses given will be helpful, but this site exists to entertain our visitors and this advice column is NOT professional counselling. In all instances, seek the advice of a professional who you trust and do not rely on the suggestions of this site in your life decision-making.
