Dear Lynda,
I started chatting with a guy from my state – we have a few common friends and I would not have chatted with him if it were not so. Our common friend, Mr.Y, told me that he was a nice guy……..
we are both at the moment away from our home state, studying.He wanted to go around with me but I was hesitant as we have never met face to face and spent time together- we exchanged photos, letters, cards, e-cards – etc, etc. We promised to be faithful till we could meet in April.
Mr.Y visited me the other day and we spent time together. Now, I don’t know what to do about my chat-friend. Mr.Y is more real to me but the chat friend and I have exchanged so many mails, and have made plans about life after our studies. With Mr.Y, I don’t know where am headed. Mr. Y – we have hardly spoken but he is also a really nice guy.
One more thing- I have had 2 boyfriends before, both younger than me. I had made up my mind that the next one will be elder than me coz i want him to be able to guide and protect me, to be more mature than me….I want to settle down with an elder guy – my dad’s elder to mum by 8 years. My chat-friend is younger than me by 2 years, we have never met nor spent time together. Mr.Y is elder than me by 2 years. I feel comfortable with him and our families know each other but not about us.
Now, I really don’t what to do. How do I choose between them? Both of them have their exams and I don’t want to disturb either one of them at this time. Mr.Y knows about the younger one, but not vice-versa. I could summon the courage to tell him about his young friend only a few minutes before his train departed so, we did not come to any plan of action.
Please help me out- I really don’t know what to do.
Confused
Dear Confused,
Strangely enough, this is a very common situation. Many, many of us are faced with a situation when we have to choose between a real-life man who we don’t know if we could love and a ‘virtual’ man who we know that we really get on with.
The above paragraph should have opened your eyes to the trap that many of us fall into. Your chat-friend is a real-life man as well. There is nothing ‘virtual’ about his flesh-and-blood existence on this earth. It just so happens that he lives a long way away.
It’s easy to dump a ‘virtual’ person and run off with a real-life love affair. Only you can make that final decision, and you need to make it now! Your relationship with Mr. Y has already gone too far without you making that decision. Turning down a real-life man to pursue a very difficult internet romance takes a lot of conviction and determination. As for the age difference, I think you should be focusing more on your capability with these men, than the age. Which one do you think you are most compatible with?
So, how do you choose between them? I’ll tell you how I did. My Mr. Y was a date set up by my best friend. I had to look into my heart and admit that I was in love with my internet partner and had a responsibility to myself and to him to remain faithful to the relationship. So, I turned down the date.
Only you can be responsible for deciding who you love.
Lynda
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